Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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