you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
