There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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