3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
literally had 100 drinks last night.
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
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