I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
