Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize
