Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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