I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
