Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
