So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
You can't just leave with hair like that
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
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