Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
you will always have a special place in my vag
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
