You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
