He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
