Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
