I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
