my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
