i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
