Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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