Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
