And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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