you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
