she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
