so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
