there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
