i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
