Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
