On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
