this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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