She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
