bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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