she was so not down for the gang bang
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
