I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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