Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(703): View more from Virginia

She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES

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(310): View more from California

Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.

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(518): View more from New York

I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands

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(845): View more from New York

This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen

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(571): View more from Virginia

I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.

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(309): View more from Illinois

Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.

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