Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
