Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(269): View more from Michigan

3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins

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(530): View more from California

Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.

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(630): View more from Illinois

I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years

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(323): View more from California

they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.

(1-306): View more from Saskatchewan

What did you cook with whisky?

(306): View more from Saskatchewan

We started a fire.

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(616): View more from Michigan

Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.

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