I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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