Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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