I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Randomize
