his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
