I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
He did a backflip because drugs
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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