I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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