He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
