At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
