after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Someone shattered a urinal.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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