He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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