I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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