obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
