The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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