There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
