he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
